Journal prompts on relationships: love, friends and family

How to journal about relationships

Writing about the people in your life helps you see past the moment. A fight looks different on paper the next morning. A friendship you took for granted suddenly looks precious.

• Write about yourself first. You cannot control other people. Focus on your own feelings, needs and part in things.
• Be fair. Try writing the other person's side, too. It often changes how you see the problem.
• Wait before you send. Writing an angry letter is healthy. Sending it right away usually is not.
• Keep it private. Relationship writing needs to be honest. Our free online diary keeps pages in your browser, with a PIN lock for shared computers.

Prompts about how you love and connect

Start here. How you act in every relationship often goes back to what you learned early on.

1. What did love look like in my home growing up?Write
2. How do I like to be shown care: words, time, help, gifts or touch?Write
3. How do I usually show care to others?Write
4. What do I do when I feel someone pulling away?Write
5. When do I feel safest with another person?Write
6. What do I need to hear when I am upset?Write
7. What is my first move in an argument: talk it out, shut down or leave the room?Write
8. Which relationship in my life feels easiest, and why?Write
9. Which relationship takes the most energy?Write
10. What do I give too much of in relationships?Write
11. What did my last breakup or falling out teach me?Write

Journal prompts about love and your partner

1. What first drew me to my partner? Is it still there?Write
2. Describe a small moment with my partner this week that felt good.Write
3. What does my partner do that I rarely thank them for?Write
4. When do we laugh most together?Write
5. What do we do well as a team?Write
6. What is something I want more of in our relationship?Write
7. What do I hope my partner knows about how I feel, even if I have not said it?Write
8. How do we spend our time together, and does it fill us up?Write
9. What is a shared dream we have for the next five years?Write
10. How has our relationship changed since the beginning?Write
11. What is one way I could love my partner better this week?Write
12. Write a short love letter I might never send, or might.Write

Prompts for hard conversations

Use these before a big talk. Writing first helps you say what you mean calmly.

1. What topic do we keep circling without solving?Write
2. What am I really upset about under the last argument?Write
3. What would I say if I knew my partner would listen without defending?Write
4. What is my part in the problem we keep having?Write
5. What do I need to forgive, and am I ready to?Write
6. What do I assume my partner thinks, and have I asked?Write
7. How do we make up after a fight, and does it work?Write
8. What would a fair compromise look like on the thing we disagree about?Write
9. Is there anything I am hiding to keep the peace?Write
10. What is one sentence I can open with next time we talk about this?Write

Journal prompts about dating and being single

1. What do I want in a partner that I would not compromise on?Write
2. What did I put up with in past relationships that I will not accept again?Write
3. What do I enjoy about being single right now?Write
4. What kind of relationship do I want, in everyday terms, not movie terms?Write
5. What red flags have I ignored before, and why?Write
6. What green flags do I want to notice more?Write
7. Am I dating to find someone or to stop feeling lonely?Write
8. What would I tell a friend about to date someone just like my ex?Write
9. How do I want to feel on a good date?Write
10. What can I offer a partner that I am proud of?Write

Relationship prompts about friends

1. Which friend has known me the longest, and what have we been through?Write
2. Who do I call when something goes wrong, and who calls me?Write
3. Is any friendship one-sided right now? Which way does it lean?Write
4. What kind of friend do I want to be this year?Write
5. Which friend do I want to see more often, and what is stopping me?Write
6. How do I feel when a friend succeeds at something I want?Write
7. Write about a friendship that ended. Do I miss it, or am I relieved?Write
8. What inside joke with a friend makes me smile every time?Write
9. Who is a newer friend I want to get closer to?Write
10. How do I handle it when a friend hurts my feelings?Write
11. What makes a friendship feel safe to me?Write

Journal prompts about family relationships

1. Which family member am I most like, and how?Write
2. What family pattern do I want to keep, and which do I want to break?Write
3. What role did I play in my family growing up: the helper, the peacekeeper, the funny one?Write
4. What conversation with a parent do I wish I could have?Write
5. What do I appreciate about my siblings or cousins now that I am older?Write
6. How do I feel in the days before a family holiday?Write
7. What is one thing I wish my family asked me about?Write
8. Who in my family do I want to know better while I still can?Write
9. What family recipe, saying or tradition do I want to pass on?Write
10. How do I want my own home to feel different from the one I grew up in?Write
11. What boundary with family would make visits easier?Write

Prompts about boundaries and repair

1. Who do I owe an apology, and what would I say?Write
2. Who owes me one, and can I move on without it?Write
3. What does a healthy boundary sound like in my own words?Write
4. Which relationship leaves me feeling small, and why do I stay?Write
5. What would I need to rebuild trust with someone?Write
6. Where do I keep score in my relationships?Write
7. What is one relationship I want to put more into this month?Write
8. Which relationship do I need to give less to?Write
9. What do I hope my closest people say about me when I am not in the room?Write

Tips for writing about the people you love

• Notice the good on purpose. Write one thing you appreciate about someone close to you each week. It changes how you see them.
• Track patterns, not just fights. If the same argument shows up three times in your journal, that is the real topic.
• Use I statements. Write "I felt ignored" instead of "they ignored me." It keeps the focus on what you can change.
• Pair with gratitude. Our gratitude journal prompts include plenty about the people in your life.
• Write a prayer if that fits you. Many people pray for a spouse or family. See our prayer journal for husband.

For more about yourself in relationships, try journal prompts for self discovery or journal prompts for women. For the bigger list, see all our journal prompts.

Questions people ask